The Amoeba: An Inspirational Anomaly

Hey folks. Lindsey has invited me as a guest writer for her new highly inspirational and extremely popular blog (that's short for web log). Blogs, if you didn't already know, were popular back when Al Gore invented the internet; now....... not so much. But that is neither here nor there. For today I would like to soak your soul with the miracle of the Amoeba.

An amoeba, if you didn't already know, is the smallest living organism on this planet. But what it lacks in size, it makes up for with inspiration. You see, an amoeba wasn't born with all of the modern day amenities that multi-celled animals enjoy. It doesn't drive its Honda Civic to Amoeba-School, or pay its Amoeba-bills online with BillPay. No! An amoeba has to work its cell off to do things like perform osmosis, produce energy, and split at the cellular level.

When was the last time you saw an amoeba at the gym on the treadmill? And yet how many times have you read a self-loathing blog entry on how fat an amoeba's thighs were? Amoebas don't have the luxury of poor self-esteem, and that's not because they don't have "eyes" or "brains" either. It's because they are better than you.

Before we continue, let's do some more scientific research on amoebas. And by scientific, I of course am referring to Wikipedia entries, where the internet stops and righteousness begins.

Amoeba proteus, previously Chaos diffluens, is an amoeba closely related to the giant amoebae.

This small protozoan uses tentacular protuberances called pseudopodia to move and phagocytose smaller unicellular organisms, which are enveloped inside the cell's cytoplasm in a food vacuole,^[1] where they are slowly broken down by enzymes. Amoeba proteus is very well-known for its extending pseudopodia.

A. proteus possesses a nucleus containing granular chromatin, and is therefore a eukaryote.

Wow, science is fun after all....

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if an amoeba, which has only one cell (albeit one very cool cell filled with all sorts of cool shiznit like vacuoles and pseudopodia and whatnot), can be fit and healthy, then.........Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Are you still reading this? Well gee whiz, no wonder your overweight and uninspired. Why are you reading a blog and feeling sorry for yourself? You should be out there running around for your food, burning calories and what not. Your not going to blog-read your way into a Speedo. Get off your bumpkis and go exercise.

Cue inspiration!

....and cut.